Is spermatozoa (ie human) technically considered bacteria? I've been told it is and I've been told it isn't. Would it meet the definition? If not what is sperm considered?
The sperm cell is a eukaryotic cell. All bacteria are prokaryotic. (doesn't necessarily mean all prokaryotic cells are bacteria). Whoever told you that it's technically considered a bacteria, must have used it as a figure of speech referring to it's characteristics.. example, the sperm cell has a flagellum, which some bacteria also have.
The sperm cell is neither technically nor literally a bacterium.
Complement: it's not even a real being: it can't reproduce, it's almost not functioning (I'm not even sure than his DNA material is in a transcriptible form. Basically, it's a dedicated half-cell of a multicellular organism, frozen genetic packed content + a flagellum + mitochondria + enough energy to make it beat for a short duration. As such, we might even find it to share common things with the definition of virus :-)