I saw a whole bunch of white bugs crawling on my comb in the medicine cabinet, they didn't photograph well but I did manage to get a bunch of them in mineral oil and eventually take some micrographs.
The good news is that a dermatologist says I'm not infested with anything and, after nuking the bathroom with poisons and cleaning products, they haven't come back.
Here's 3 different specimens at 40X and 100X. The live ones seemed to be in the 0.2 to 0.8 millimeter range.
What are these things?